Your Feelings Are Not Facts
Your feelings and emotions are real experiences, but they are not facts.
They also aren’t who you are. Your thoughts work similarly.
Feelings are not a reflection of reality, but a response to your perceived reality.
Sit with that for a minute.
Think of it this way . . .
You have a body, but you are not your body.
You have a thumb, but you're not your thumb.
You may experience sadness, but you are not sad. Are you sad when you sleep? What about when someone makes you laugh at work? Our feelings and emotions are 100% fluid. Even when a particular feeling or emotion shows up frequently, it's still a temporary experience. It's not a permanent condition so, whether it's welcome or not, you don't HAVE IT and you certainly AREN'T IT.
Feelings and thoughts, whether working together or separately, come up to create an action.
They aren't here to be felt, expressed, or to make meaning out of things. However, that's precisely how our human (conscious) minds make sense of them.
The sole purpose of your subconscious is to keep you alive and safe. So anything outside the "known" comfort zone or that feels similar to the past can pose as a threat. These threats are where those internal sensations (feelings) kick into gear to create action. The action intended by the unconscious is usually a fight, flight, or freeze response, but that isn't always the most applicable response in our modern living, is it?
We've been taught so much self-destructive garbage (shame, guilt, blame, suppression, fear) around feelings and behaviors it's no wonder we're not equipped to navigate the emotional domain. This "bad info" is a big part of why we get stuck in emotions and let their meaning control our lives.
A tiny shift in perspective–distancing yourself from what you're experiencing— can help you navigate undesirable emotions (and thoughts) with more ease.
This doesn't mean you should suppress or ignore feelings, instead approach your experiences with curiosity. Start to pay attention and get to know their sensations, and how your subconscious (both the mind and nervous system) are responding to what you're experiencing. In the same way, you can be the observer of your thoughts in meditation. You'll discover a lot of information there, regardless of whether they're real or imagined.
In conclusion, you are not your emotions. You are far more and far greater than whatever you experience (or think!). And you do have the ability to use your emotions as allies to live your best life despite what happens in life.
If you would like to connect or learn more about how subconscious work can help you free yourself from your emotional baggage and live your life with more joy and ease, please drop me a note at hello@allison-roman.com.
